One of my favorite aspects of the mass is when Father prays; “We do well always and everywhere to give you thanks, it is our duty and our salvation, Lord Holy Father, almighty and eternal God”. Yes, it is our duty but there’s also a saving element to gratitude, it is our salvation. Practicing gratitude despite the black cloud of Mark’s health challenges was a saving grace for us. There was always good happening, always beauty and blessings surrounding us if we looked through the lens of gratitude.
I want to end our time together highlighting what I’m grateful for:
Many of you know that Mark was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy in 2006 at age 45. It was a terrible shock but I look back on that devastating blow as a great blessing because time became our most precious currency. All of a sudden, time was short, finite and fleeting. Overnight, we needed to do the things that mattered and fast. Mark found us a sailboat on Craigslist (that we later dumped on Peter and Lulu for a bigger one) and had glorious sailing adventures and overnights on Lake Waconia with our girls. We escaped the MN winters and whisked our girls away at every break they had from school. And we made relationships a priority – time with people we loved most, meaningful conversations and intentional gatherings.
I’m also incredibly grateful for the gift of life Mark received on January 30th , 2015 of a new heart. And I think of our donor’s family today with the grief we’re experiencing. The beautiful heart ushered in renewed health and energy for Mark and this incredible return to Lincoln for all 4 of us.
Mark’s favorite job was his role here at UNL – it was the pinnacle and culmination of his career. He loved his students and was a Young Life leader/professor – he did contact work attending their sporting events, he invited them to our home and gave them his very best to help them grow personally and academically. When the girls were young, Mark traveled extensively for his job with Gallup and I feel like those were my special years with Paige and Reilly. They took turns sleeping with me, we had fun dinners out after their activities and I savored their companionship while Mark was away. His special chapter with our girls has been these last 3 years they’ve spent at UNL together. Paige had him as a professor twice and both were student strengths coaches in his program. They would meet for coffee on campus regularly and shared many Husker experiences together. These last 3 years here were our best.
And lastly, I’m grateful for this summer with Mark. Our faith in Christ and His daily bread sustained us as we learned that his cancer had returned in March after just 5 short months of remission. We found that we suffered less emotionally and spiritually in the acceptance of these circumstances versus railing against them. Most days, we consented to what God was handing us and set about making every day count, being intentional with people and savoring the time we had left.
God was generous in giving us this summer after almost losing him in May to sepsis, kidney failure and dire complications from chemo. Mark battled back, as he’d done countless times before, so determined to keep living but his medical options evolved quickly to hospice care at home.
He received the most heartfelt letters from his students and colleagues encouraging him and letting him know of his impact – such a rare gift and he spent a lot of time reflecting on and rereading these letters. He made the girls a ‘dad book’ of all the best pictures of them together over the years. He corralled Andrew and Justin for deep conversations on the deck with a desire to impart to these outstanding young men his best advice on pursuing meaningful work, parenting, marriage, morality and his deep faith in Christ. And of course, he coached them around their strengths.
He recorded 2 conversations each with Paige and Reilly covering a wide range of topics important to them. He reminisced and laughed with all of the dear friends who visited this summer. And when he was feeling well enough we took sunset rides in the mini with Rico, top down savoring the warm summer breezes. And just a little over a month ago, we were able to take a miracle trip to Castaway, a Young Life Camp in MN. It is the place of many of our favorite days in our 25 years together. Seeing our girls as Young Life leaders there brought us both immense joy. We celebrated his 57th birthday on August 5th with a meaningful gathering of dear friends and family. And on August 6th he went down to campus for an energizing 4 hour meeting about how he could possibly contribute this fall.
And then he took a turn and was unable to bounce back. It was my great privilege to care for him in our home until his last day. He died peacefully without pain or struggle and we are grateful that his long-suffering is finished. Of course we all wanted more time with him, but we can all be grateful for the fantastic, hilarious, challenging, intellectually stimulating loving times we shared with him. Thank you for loving him and for being here to celebrate his life with us today.
No comments:
Post a Comment